Age of Realization

I have reached the age of realization. This weekend I will turn 40. That doesn't seem particularly traumatic to me, but does cause some reflection. I am looking back over my life and viewing it from experience.

Have you ever had that moment when something just smacks you between the eyes? Well that is what I am going through right now. In many ways I have become even more comfortable in my skin. I know that then things I have experienced have made me a stronger person, to know my own worth as it is.

I have slowly been coming to the realization that I had cut all extra activities out of my life since 2002 when I restarted my schooling. It was not a conscious decision, it just happened. I would choose not to go out on the weekends because I had projects at home, or homework for school. My beloved has had 4 surgeries since then and that took a lot of our time and energy.

For all of the things that have happened to hold me close to home I don't know if I would or could give them up. They have helped shape me into the person I am today. I still have some dark spots I need to work on, but I like the person I am today.

One thing I know is this: There is no secret formula for 'happily ever after' it is a process. A process that must be worked in order to make it to that place where you are happy where you are at.

I guess you can say this is a rambling post on my upcoming birthday and how I am going to embrace the age of 40.